Being a writer can be really strenuous. Besides having to come up with an original idea and staying consistent but staying motivated to finish. There’s more to writing a story than characters, setting, and conflict. I think dialogue is one of my hardest challenges. Not only does it have to be organic, but it needs to be authentic in how it’s read. Being able to put myself right into a story is why I love writing and reading. Becoming one with your favorite character and their environment. Facing the challenges with them. Overcoming and striving. Trial and error are all a part of the process. Learning what works and what doesn’t. Letting your most dynamic voice present itself and giving it a place to be heard.
Going through the motions of healing after years of being stuck in a trauma victim cycle, is undoubtedly one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Besides stopping the cycle of suicide attempts and self-destructive behaviors. This is the real me. I can’t run from the unaddressed problems in my life. I can however decide what to do to deal with them. Sometimes I spent most of a day being depressed, crying, stressed, anxious, and totally overwhelmed by my current situation. I know that at any moment while I’m writing, I can break down again. I know that sharing the same post over and over isn’t the only answer to marketing and promoting my books, and artwork. But for now, that’s all I know how to do. I don’t have any education, experience, or skills in marketing, advertising, or running a small business. I am not going to let that stop me. I’m not going to stop even if this takes me the rest of my life to figure out. I know I need help with this. I know I can’t do this on my own, but right now that’s all I got, is me and God. I’m not embarrassed to say I lack the knowledge I need to progress. I’m not ashamed to say I have to learn. Every day is a learning experience.
Despite being a new author, I believe in my work. The privilege to be able to create Is one I will always appreciate. Staying consistently motivated to keep going, writing, self-editing and self-publishing in fear. Making mistakes and learning from those mistakes is part of growth. I don’t expect to be a perfect writer, because perfection is over-rated. I love what I wrote, and I will keep writing. I’m willing to take the risk of being put down for my work. I am willing to admit that I am not good enough in the eyes of someone else, but I will keep going. There are a lot of people in this world, who really can say my writing isn’t enough. I believe is it and others will believe so too.
I also love looking at my art it’s an inspiration to know after so many years of trying to figure out who I am, I never would have thought creating art was it. It’s been such I release to know that after I have had my moment, I can pick up a pencil or my laptop and create something new. SHOUT OUT TO THE CREATORS OF THE WORLD!!
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